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Insecure Christian??

Shardae Anders – Williams, 30, Makeup Artist

https://www.facebook.com/EtherealBeautyMUA/

https://www.facebook.com/shardae.anders

What insecurities have you dealt with in the past?

I have always felt pretty secure with myself until my college years. While in college I met a guy and we became a couple. A few months down the line, he told me he had another girl pregnant. Because he was open and honest about it, I continued to date him. A few months later the baby was born and pictures was posted on Facebook on his page by the mother. I commented on the picture and it made the mother a bit furious. She asked me not to comment on the pictures of their daughter again. I was a bit confused as to why she would request that since I hadn’t said anything negative or harmful. Well, I commented on the picture still saying nothing out of the way and what she did next began my journey of insecurity. Previously, my boyfriend had lost his phone or his daughter’s mom had stolen his phone, and he still hadn’t found the phone. This particular phone had several pictures of me in it and a few of those pictures were for “His Eyes Only”! One day while I was riding around with him I got a phone call from one of my high school friends. Her voice was fairly calm but stern and I could tell that what she had to say was tremendously important. She asked if I was in front of a computer and I told her no. She then said “You need to go to a computer A.S.A.P!” I told him to bring me home and I went inside to long on to the computer. I don’t know how I knew to go on Facebook but when I did, I saw what would be anyone’s worst nightmare! The girl my boyfriend shared a child with had gotten the pictures out of the missing phone and posted them on my page with the captions “This B**** ain’t no Christian”, something about my hair, and the other statements I can’t quite remember. She also shared it with about 50-80 of my family and friends including people around my school’s campus. In that moment I felt that everything I strived to be had been proven to be false. Insecure wasn’t the only way to describe how I felt. I felt empty and like I wanted to disappear. How could I attempt to do good and from that good my character be brought down to the lowest term?

Have you dealt with insecurity as a Christian?

Yes I have. I believe that same insecurity followed me. After that whole scenario, my life went on a downward spiral. I began to smoke weed and party. My whole existence seemed to be a lie until I asked God to turn it around. He did just that and I was on my way to being everything I hoped I can be and everything the devil tried to make me believe I couldn’t be. Well, little did I know, I was about to face something very similar to what I had experienced in my past but this time with people who were much closer. This particular situation was indeed setup to make me look like the bad girl when I had actually done nothing wrong. I was actually expressing my feelings about being mistreated and they took that moment to not try to fix the situation but to point out everything bad about me instead. That old insecurity came back and I was determined to defend and protect myself at all cost. It escalated to a big fight and my husband and I were put because of it. This particular time I knew I couldn’t fall back into old habits and I didn’t want to either, so I went on a fast, and some miraculous things happened because of it. Although I dealt with the same insecurity again, I didn’t turn away from my Helper who I knew I had this time around.

When did you realize and acknowledge that insecurity was a problem and what steps did you take to overcome your insecurity?

It wasn’t until I felt like I was losing my sanity after the whole college incident, that I realized what my insecurity had done to me. It was like waking up from a very long dream and just looking back on all the things I had done. From that awakening point I prayed to God that if He would rescue me from that situation that I would never turn back. He first showed me a vision and He made my vision a reality by sending my mother to get me from the house I was living in. I packed my things that night and never looked back.

I know for some people there is total victory for eliminating insecurity, but for others it’s a daily battle. Did you receive total victory over insecurity or is it a daily battle?

I believe that I definitely had total victory over my insecurity and that that particular battle is won. I will also say that I believe there is still a daily battle against the enemy and the various tactics he use to try and defeat me all over again. I’m still a victor and I fight every day to remain as such. I don’t feel like I can put my guard down as far as that because it was such a defeat for me in my past.

 

What are your favorite scriptures that you used/or using to empower yourself with?

1 Peter 2:9 (NKJV)

But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light

Jeremiah 29:11New Living Translation (NLT)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Romans 8:28 (NLT)

28 And we know that God causes everything to work together[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

What can you tell the next person who is also in a battle with feeling insecure as a person, who is struggling to understand how important they are to God and themselves?

I would tell them not to wait any longer to return to their Father who is light. The light will shine on any darkness that is around them or in them and they will surely be free. I would also tell them not to be so hard on themselves no matter what they have done wrong, been accused of, or what has happened to them. What matters is that they push forward to become a better person and that the negative that so desperately wants to swallow them will never succeed in doing so. I will also say strive to be the best you can be, and not only to yourself but to others. It doesn’t matter if you are liked or if people misjudge you. Your works will ultimately display just who you are! Be Great. Be kind. Be loving. Be everything your insecurities said you couldn’t be! Do everything you can to make that happen and leave the rest to God.

 

 

Sabrina Brookins, Minister

https://www.facebook.com/sabrina.brookins

 

What insecurities have you dealt with in the past?

In the past I’ve struggled with insecurities about my weight and having a negative body image.

Since we are talking about insecurities, have you dealt with insecurity in your faith?

Yes, I was called into Ministry at the very young age of fifteen years old, and I preached my initial sermon at sixteen years old. Most of my insecurities came from the outside opinions of others. Some people felt that I was too young to operate in the gift that God had placed on the inside me. Although, I received a tremendous amount of support from my family, what challenged me the most was the negativity that I received from my peers who felt that all in all I was just a “goody-two-shoes” and older believers who felt that I was taking on too much too soon.

When did you realize and acknowledge that insecurity was a problem and what steps did you take to overcome your insecurity?

I don’t consider insecurity to be a problem unless you allow it to shape your life beyond God’s opinion of who you are. If what you’re insecure about dictates your every move or decisions then it’s definitely a problem. However, I believe that all of us have things that we’re insecure about or “issues” that make us feel unworthy to be used by God. I believe what has helped me is to see myself through the eyes of God. Reading a scripture that explains how God feels about me trumps any idea that I have about myself.

I know for some people there is total victory for eliminating insecurity, but for others it’s a daily battle. Did you receive total victory over insecurity or is it a daily battle?

Well, the truth is sometimes our thinking changes way before our realities change. My reality is that I’m still overweight and I have times when I could let those negative thoughts win, sometimes they do, but sometimes they don’t. I like to look at it as I have more victories than I have defeats!

What are your favorite scriptures that you used/or using to empower yourself with?

Oh, that’s easy, Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Also, one scripture that lets me know that in times of fear, insecurities, doubt or shame, that all I have to do is call out to God and he will save me is Romans 10:13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. That saved means continually, not only has God saved me in terms of salvation but even after being saved, I can still call on him to rescue me from myself!

What can you tell the next person who is also in a battle with feeling insecure as a person, who is struggling to understand how important they are to God and themselves?

There is a song called Good, Good Father written by Pat Barrett and Tony Brown, Chris Tomlin sings it but I really love to hear Benita Washington sing it. Anyway, there’s a part in the song that says,

“Oh, I’ve heard a thousand stories Of what they think You’re like But I’ve heard the tender whisper Of love in the dead of night And You tell me that You’re pleased And that I’m never alone..”

I think the most important thing I would say to someone that is dealing with insecurities is to remember that even with our insecurities and all the issues we may have, if we are living an honest and upright life before God, and if we are loving other as Christ has instructed us to then no matter how we feel, God is pleased with us. The love of God is truly amazing and His love isn’t based on who we are it’s simply based on who He is. I would also tell them, to be strong in the LORD and recite the truth (which is the word of God) daily so that your spiritual man will gain more and more strength. Always remember that the creator of the universe thinks that you are to die for! Keep pressing!

 

 

If you would like to share your testimony, please email to inspirationbytoyadenae@gmail.com